The End of an Era
by Adularia-chan
Summary: The final days before the birth of the Crystal Tokyo draw near...


Usagi was running. She did not know why she ran. The expanse before her was composed entirely of layers of mist. She could see nothing in it worth racing towards, no destination of any conceivable value. Had she turned to look back, she knew instinctively that she would see the same thing. Nothing to flee from. There was no sky, only more of the endless fog. The ground beneath her feet-at least, she assumed that there was something solid beneath the veil of mist-could very well have been the true sky. It felt firm beneath her bare feet at least, so she was content to let herself believe it was the ground.  
The logical questions for her to ask right then would have been "What am I doing here", "Where am I?" and naturally, "Why am I running?". For some reason, the answers seemed irrelevant. Wherever she was, there was nothing she could do about it. She had no reason to cease running, so she continued. Oddly enough, her normally insatiable curiosity did not bother her at all. She was knew that there must be an explanation for all of this and she was content to wait patiently for it to present itself.   
Usagi did not know exactly how long she ran. It could have been an eternity, or perhaps only a few minutes. She did not care particularly. Time made little difference. At some point though, her legs began to slow down. Once again she did not question this, trusting her body to be sure of what it was doing.  
A hazy silhouette appeared from the tendrils of mist. It was nothing more than a shadow, but Usagi suddenly found herself drawn to it. She had ceased to run, her body no longer finding purpose in the action. She knew without question now why she had been running. This was her destination. She had no idea of who the person shrouded in vapor might be. Just seeing the outline evoked a reaction in her though. Deep within her, she felt a sense of dread well up.  
Despite this, she walked foreword until the shape became a clear form. Even as she saw her-for it was undeniably a female entity-she felt no recognition. The eerie sense of foreboding deepened.  
The young woman sat suspended in space, though she looked as if she were reclining on an invisible chair. Her legs were crossed and her hands were neatly folded in her lap. Her posture and position reminded Usagi of a very young school girl on her best behavior. She was the picture of innocent obedience, something odd to witness in someone around Usagi's age. Somehow, she felt that the carefully selected position was more of an ironic imitation of that very obedience. Her mimicry was more of a mockery of politeness than anything else.   
The girl was undeniably beautiful, but in unnerving way. Her skin was almost impossibly pale, lacking the even the slightest hint of color. Her fine, shoulder length hair, following the same pattern was equally white. Contrasting this sharply was the black dress she wore. A delicate necklace and bracelet of silver succeeded in balancing the two. Overall, it gave her a very collected, if surreal appearance.   
Her eyes had a vacant, almost glazed look to them as she stared off into the far regions of the abyss they were in. Her face was as devoid of emotion as her skin was of color. She seemed perfectly comfortable to ignore Usagi and continue staring into space. Usagi had no doubt that the nameless girl was aware of her presence. Usagi waited for some time for her to speak. After a while, the blond found herself growing impatient though. She began to fidget while the enigma before her remained unfazed.  
"So, you're Serenity?" the girl said at last, not bothering to look at the one she was speaking to.  
"Hai..." Usagi replied. Her voice sounded unsteady, as if she were not sure of the fact herself.  
"You're not exactly what I expected," the girl said. She turned her head to make eye contact and Usagi found herself wishing she had just remained inert. Her face was as uncanny as the rest of her. Her ivory features were sharply defined, possessing an arrogant quality that suggested royalty. Beneath her silver lashes were two large irises of milky white. They seemed to be sightless, but Usagi was not entirely sure. Above them, the infamous black symbol of an upside-down crescent adorned her forehead.  
Upon seeing that, Usagi's own blue eyes widened in fear.  
"You're-" she began  
"Of course I am. I'm a member of the Black Moon clan, at least by blood." Usagi took a step back, fully realizing that distance would make little difference in the outcome of a battle between them. The girl smiled, an expression which Usagi found to be very unpleasant.  
"Oh, you don't need to look so frightened, dear princess. It's all right, I'm quite dead," her lips quirked upward once more in a mirthless smirk. "And unlike most of the other deaths on our lovely planet, you are not responsible for this."  
"What do you mean?" Usagi asked. The other girl had a way of making her feel infinitely stupid. She felt as if her piercing eyes were looking through her even though looked as though they should be blind. For an instant, the intensity of those eyes frightened her. Then, her eyes acquired a distant look again.  
"I'm terribly sorry. I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I?" she asked rhetorically. "My name is Opal, you already know that my birth was on Nemesis. So, Princess, how have you been lately? Saving the world hasn't been too much of a strain on you, I hope." Her query was so unrelated that it took Usagi a moment to fully process it.   
"I've been...um...fine, I guess," she managed to say. She was a little bewildered by the sudden switch of topics and this person's newfound interest in her welfare. Humoring her seemed like the best possibility at the moment.  
"I'm glad to hear that," Opal said. She did not sound sarcastic, but Usagi still had the distinct impression she was being insulted again.  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I really am being quite rude today, aren't I? I forgot to ask, would you like me to call you Princess, or do you dislike such formality? Is Serenity more appropriate? It doesn't seem like a proper way to address one's superior."   
"Ano...I'm just Usagi now," she said.  
"Perhaps this more recent body of yours is called Usagi," she conceded mildly. "But you are Serenity." Upon saying that last sentence, Opal's tone of voice gained a subtle edge. Moments ago, her voice had been disinterested and slightly mocking. Now, it was still casual, but there was a darker note underlying that.  
Usagi was tiring of this game already. Opal was deliberately avoiding the original subject, using her nearly insulting politeness to veil whatever she was getting at or hiding. Usagi knew that her question had not been the most tactful, but this aggravated her still. For she knew, Opal was doing this simply to irritate her.   
"My name is Tsukino Usagi," she repeated more forcefully. Opal was apparently oblivious to abrupt shift in Usagi's manner, though Usagi was more convinced than ever that the white haired girl knew exactly what was going on,   
"The 'rabbit of the moon'?" she said. She chuckled softly. "How amusing. It is appropriate for your incarnation. However, you are not 'Usagi'. This is merely a guise you wear. You are Serenity, heir to the Silver Millennium and the ginzuishou." Her eyes locked with Usagi's. Her tone and expression might have been light, but her empty eyes were cold.  
"In a previous life, I was Princess Serenity. Right now, I have family and a home and a new life. I'm still Serenity, but I am also Usagi now."   
"What is a name?" Opal asked to no one in particular. "'That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.'" Usagi's eyes betrayed her complete incomprehension. Opal ignored her.  
"Shakespeare," she added placidly. "Words spoken by Juliet, a charmingly innocent character of his. Truly something only one so naïve would believe." Usagi was more than slightly irate at this point. Though her inattentiveness in class prevented her from remembering who exactly Juliet was, she was certain that Opal was only showing disdain. Her caustic remark about Juliet was probably directed at her. Or at least, that was how she saw it.  
"You see, Princess," Opal said. "Logically, a name should not effect who we are. It is only a word, after all. A mere word holds no power over the clever human mind. Yet, as always in this world, logic has little to do with the truth. Humans are so weak, so insecure that they use names to identify themselves. 'Who am I?' they ask. They cannot truly answer this as they do not understand themselves. So, they content themselves by using this superficial, manufactured identity. More often than not, they live up to their name without even consciously realizing what they are trying to do. Rather pathetic, ne?"  
"What are you getting at?" Usagi demanded. Opal's smile did not extend beyond her lips. Her eyes were no longer distant. Instead, they had taken the color of ice. Though her expression was still serene, there was nothing gentle or kind within the depths of those eyes.  
"What do I mean, dear Princess? Surely, you understand by now. A great, just ruler such as yourself should comprehend these matters of simplicity with ease." Usagi felt her jaw clench. Her fingers had already withdrawn into a tight fist, one which was quivering with anger.   
"Look, just tell me already, okay? And stop calling me 'Princess'. I told you, my name is Tsukino Usagi. That's what my friends and family call me, so that's my name. If that doesn't make it official, I don't know what does." Usagi had half expected Opal to sneer. Her face was once again cold, blank and cryptic though.  
"Of course they call you that. Your family doesn't know that you're Serenity. They believe their precious daughter is an innocent girl. And who wouldn't? You're the paragon of innocence, at least in terms of appearance. And you never contradicted their false belief, did you? You let them believe that you were their Usagi-chan. Why didn't you tell them?"  
"Ano...I-I didn't want them to have that kind of pressure. I mean, well, what if a youma or something went after them or something? I couldn't have them be associated with Sailormoon. That was my responsibility to bear alone."  
"Ah, how noble of you!" she cried. Her comment could almost have been interpreted as sincere were it not for the painful exaggeration she applied to the phrase. "Quite the martyr, aren't you? You endured isolation only so your family wouldn't be burdened by the knowledge. How heroic!" Usagi winced at her scornful praise. She had stretched the truth a little there.  
"I couldn't risk revealing my identity," she said. "You have to understand. I would have been killed if anyone knew who I was!" Opal refused to relent and show even the tiniest shred of emotion. Only her glacial eyes reflected the intensity within her.  
"Killed? Yes, death has always been a part of your life, hasn't it? Many were trying to kill you at that time. And you killed many. How can you be so certain that you did not deserve death and they did?" That struck a nerve. Usagi, who had been visibly distressed before was now trembling badly. The pink drained from her cheeks leaving skin as pale as her opponent's. Her blue eyes were wider than they should have been and sweat crawled down her face. Her breath came in erratic gasps, almost as if she had to consciously remember to inhale.  
"How can you say that?! I've dedicated my whole life to saving people! I just wanted to be Usagi, not a senshi! I didn't want to fight or endanger my friends or myself or kill anything. But here I am struggling, fighting for my life day and night so I can take care of the whole helpless human race! I sacrificed my normal life for this and received nothing in return."  
"That was very selfless of you. Such a virtuous girl you are, to be able to give up so much for the love of people."  
"It was selfless! I gave up everything. Everything! All for their sake. Do you know what it's like to talk to my family or my old friends now?"  
"No, I don't see how I could."  
"I lie. Practically every word that comes out of my mouth is a lie. 'Where were you the other day, Usagi-chan?', 'Why weren't you here for dinner last week?', 'What's going on in your life?' And to every single question I have to make up some weak excuse."  
"You don't have to, Princess. There is almost no one on your planet who could make you have to do anything. They couldn't hurt you if you told them, so why don't you? Why don't you reveal the truth if you want to so desperately?"  
"I couldn't do that! I...I couldn't...I mean, they'd be scared of me or think I was a hero or something. Can't you see it? Whenever people came over my mom would make a big deal out of it. 'Look at my daughter! She's the legendary Sailormoon!' And everyone at school would want to talk to me. I couldn't just walk around and have fun, or chat or just be myself anymore. I could never be Tsukino Usagi." The moment she uttered her name, she seemed to realize exactly what she had just said.   
"Interesting. You're reasoning behind this decision changes every time. Perhaps this contains a grain of truth though? Or perhaps not. After all, you just said you are a very practiced liar."  
"I don't want to lie! I just told you, I hate it. I don't want to deceive them. I..." Opal smiled humorlessly.  
"And now you lie again. Serenity, I'm hurt."  
"I'm telling the truth," Usagi insisted.  
"Wrong," Opal whispered, her voice suddenly very cold once more. "You just explained to me that you would rather tell these lies and continue to live as this façade you call Usagi. Do you think they don't realize that you are not always being completely honest? Do you think that your formerly close friend, Osaka Naru, doesn't feel pain each time you tell on of your pathetic lies?   
"You know how they feel, oh you know very well. Yet, you choose to continue this life. You continue to be someone you're not. Now, why do you do that, Princess? Why should a kind and loving person like you need to lie so badly?" Usagi seemed to shrink momentarily. For an instant, tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. She blinked rapidly to clear them, but her expression lingered. She struggled for a moment, collecting her resolve, before answering.  
The crystal was still there a  
"You cannot understand me," she stated. Her voice quavered slightly as she spoke. "You cannot understand what I do or how I think. Yes, I was Serenity in a previous life and yes I have kept this fact a secret from many people I care for. But...that..." She faltered, her tone changing from commanding to uncertain. "That was for a good reason. I mean, it was supposed to be a secret. It wasn't supposed to wreck my life...I mean..."   
"And so Serenity and Usagi remain separate entities. You worked very hard to get them to stay that way too, didn't you? Saving the world was no problem so long as they blame never landed on Usagi-chan, ne? And despite the fact that you never accepted responsibility for any of your crimes, you still believe yourself to be just. Tell me, is the Champion of Justice exempt from punishment? Is she above what she preaches?  
"You've killed quite a few creatures, haven't you?"  
"But they were demons! They were evil! How could I have just let them run around hurting innocent people?"  
"Not all of them were. There were humans. Humans you were perfectly content to kill in many cases. Not all of them were even responsible for what they did. So, by that logic, you yourself deserve death."  
"Stop that! I don't deserve to die! I've lost so much...so much and I got nothing..."   
"You've done a find job of convincing yourself of all this. How many nights did you spend awake, trying to rationalize and justify everything? How long did it take you to convince yourself that everything you did was right, that your ethics were beyond question?"  
"Shut up! Just shut up already!" Usagi screamed. She was almost pleading now, begging her adversary to stop her relentless accusations. She was shaking with fury still, but guilt seemed to be the emotion dominating her.   
"Ah, things don't seem quite so black and white now, do they, Princess? And it hurts, doesn't it? Oh yes, it's quite nice to simplify the world to 'good and evil'. It's nice to relieve yourself of guilt because you distance yourself from your victims so cleverly. It isn't so pleasant to except responsibility though, is it? Even one as magnificent as you must find it a challenge."  
"You're just trying to confuse me! I won't listen! I'm not hearing what you're saying! It doesn't matter to me anyway!"  
"Do you know why you want to be called Usagi?" Opal asked. Usagi stopped shrieking protests upon hearing her. She looked up and what she saw actually frightened her. Opal's eyes had narrowed to white slits. A touch of sadism leaked through her carefully controlled expression. She was no longer playing games, she was bringing their discussion to an end.  
"You want to be called Usagi," she continued. "Because Usagi is still a child. In your mind, you see that childhood of yours as an idyllic, guiltless time. Usagi is naïve, blissful and utterly oblivious. Now that you no longer are required to transform into your senshi form on a daily basis, you yearn for that life, for that ignorance. Your hands are stained with blood, but you don't want to see it, Serenity."   
"Please..." Usagi said, her voice now only a whisper. "Don't..."  
"You don't see Tsukino Usagi as she really was. She was not a perfect girl. Wasn't the whole reason she befriended a shy, studious girl who later became a fellow senshi only an attempt to improve her grades? Didn't she tease her brother and yell at her teacher and embarrass her mother more often than not?" Usagi flinched with every word. Opal pursued the topic without mercy. "Usagi was not a perfect child, but you see her this way, don't you? And because you long for innocence, you pretend that you still are her.  
"What's really sickening though is that you want everyone else to see you as Usagi. You bear your guilt in silence so no one will ever condemn you for it. What would Naru-chan say? What would your mother say, Princess?"  
"You don't understand any of this," Usagi said. "How can you understand it?! You never had to do anything like this. You can't...understand...anything..." Usagi's knees gave way beneath her and she sank to misty floor.  
"Oh, I don't understand, do I? How can you be so sure you do? You haven't been honest with anyone, Princess. Especially not yourself."  
"Just stop...I don't want to hear anymore..."   
"Ah, but you're not Usagi-chan anymore. You are Serenity and that blood on your hands cannot simply be ignored. You will not accept your crimes, nor will you atone for them. You continue in your obstinacy to pretend that you have done nothing wrong. You know that's not true though, don't you, Serenity?" Instantly, Usagi's pajamas were replaced by the shimmering ball gown she wore as a princess. Even though she could not see it, she knew that the golden crescent had appeared on her forehead. She felt unclean in her pure clothing, as if it were filth that clung to her skin instead of silk. She wanted her pajamas back; her nice, warm pajamas.   
She remembered a time when she had adored that elegant garment. She had loved the way the layered skirt whispered when she moved. She had loved the way it caught the light. She had loved the smooth feeling of it rustling against her skin. It was so beautiful, much like the wedding gown she hoped to wear one day.   
Now, the feeling of it pressing down on her was repulsive.   
Usagi did not move or speak for quite a while. When she did, the words emerged sounding strangled and almost inaudible.  
"Why...why are you doing this? If you know how I feel, why...just, tell me..."  
"This is such an odd place," Opal remarked with her infuriatingly impassive voice. "Neither here nor there nor when really. The concept of location or time don't even exist. Don't you find it kind of strange?"  
"What?" Usagi managed to say.  
"And the scenery here is rather drab. Nothing but fog. How boring. It certainly doesn't seem fit for royalty." Usagi stared up at her tormenter. Her silvery eyes were gazing emptily into space. She did not seem to care or even be thinking of a word she had just said.   
"That dress looks very pretty on you, by the way. It suits you perfectly," Opal said. Usagi looked down on it, down at the piece of clothing that identified her beyond all doubt of being Serenity. She stared at the ornate rows of pearls and golden loops that covered her chest, the puffs of air that replaced sleeves by her shoulders, and finally, the flowing beauty that formed her skirt. It by itself seemed to accuse her, seemed to mock her in that silent way that Opal had perfected.   
It was so lovely and so bright and so very, very terrible to Usagi right then. She hated Opal and the costume that now clung to her. She hated her more than she thought it was possible to ever hate anyone. For a short eternity, she remained in her position on the ground.  
She did not move. She did not breath. She knew if she let so much as one muscle twitch she would never be able to stop herself. She would weep then and there, her tears falling into her lap and mocking her more. So she maintained her posture just as Opal held hers. A game, a battle of wills in which neither moved for reasons known only to them.  
Usagi felt the emotions within her growing steadily stronger. The longer she stayed motionless and refused to release them, the more they grew. There was guilt, crushing agonizing guilt. There was pain. Overshadowing both of these was rage. Blind, white-hot rage. Usagi, being of a fairly mild disposition, had rarely felt its effects on her before. The few times that she had felt such powerful anger were burned into her memory.  
When facing Galaxia, that had been one time. She had cradled the dying Rei in her arms. Her friend had been so light, almost like there was nothing in her. And her eyes...even when her body was merely a transparent shadow, her eyes had still been as alive as ever until the very last moment. Then, they had just dissolved in a mess of golden bubbles. And Galaxia, sitting daintily upon her shining throne had laughed, laughed like there was nothing more amusing then that horrific scene that had just taken place. Usagi had wanted to tear her apart, to rip the senshi's laughing throat out. Compassion had later taken hold of her, but for one instant of madness, she had desired nothing more than to kill her opponent.  
Cold thoughts such as these began to work their way into Usagi's mind. They were dark, brutal things that normally would never even occur to her. Yet now they came steadily, each vision increasingly violent. A part of Usagi felt sick at seeing the awful things she was thinking of doing, but another part took immense pleasure in them. It was a disgusting process that seemed to go on forever.  
Finally, when she felt like she was going to explode from the sheer magnitude of her own emotions, she stood up. She grabbed a fistful of her skirt and tore it off. She flung it down into the unknown depths of where ever she was. The action felt indescribably good. To destroy, to rip everything to pieces, it seemed wonderful to her then. Her body was trembling once more, but this time with the effort of moving so slowly. Holding herself back now was almost impossible.  
She held out one hand and summoned the desired object with her mind. A long, elaborate scepter materialized at her command. She swung it foreword with practiced ease so that it pointed directly at the white haired girl. She began to recite a familiar incantation. The crystal at the end of her staff glowed in response.  
Usagi might well have gone through with her attempt to blast Opal into oblivion had it not been for one thing. Just as she was poised to unleash the energy being channeled through her staff, she looked at Opal's face. Her opponent's expression had not altered at all and was still maddeningly emotionless. However, despite its odd appearance and impossible composure, it was a human face. A human face that she had been perfectly willing to remove.   
The crystal went dark and Usagi lowered it. The loathing that had burned so strongly inside her only a moment ago dissipated. She now felt only sick with guilt. Opal had not hurt her, not physically at least. She had simply accused her. Usagi had proven her words true with everything she did.  
Opal brought her hands up to applaud the effort. The sound of her palms striking was more painful than anything she could have said.   
"No," Usagi uttered softly. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm angry with myself and trying to take it out on you because you're the nearest target. I won't sink that low." She closed her eyes as she said these words, trying to shut out the image of the white haired girl that had ignited her temper so easily.  
Usagi focused her rather frayed mind on her breathing, on the steady intake and exhalation of air. She had always been a person of strong emotions. Whatever she felt, it showed clearly on her face. Emotions were what governed her thoughts and actions. She had always been this way, a person of the heart rather than the mind.   
There had been a time when she could allow her emotions to run freely. Over the few painfully long years of battle, this had changed. The grief at watching those she loved suffer, or even seeing her enemies die helplessly was too much for her to bear. It would have driven her mad within less than a year.  
She had learned out of necessity how to control them at least a little. She had forced herself to at least contain them slightly. She was tremendously grateful for this fact then. The ability to shift her mind from the surge of remorse saved her sanity.   
So she let herself think only of her breathing, only the calm, gentle rush of air. It was her anchor, the one thing that held her together. It was constant, it was steady. In this place that defied reality, this was normal.   
"Oh, you forgive me, do you, Princess?" Opal jeered. "Always so gracious when it comes to forgiving sins. You did claim to be the Messiah once after all." Usagi felt a twinge of anger returning and struggled frantically to retain her composure. She was so intent on ignoring anything but the rhythmic sound of her own breath that she failed to hear the sound of footsteps.  
"It's been a pleasure to see you, Princess. I really am flattered that you would spare so much of your valuable time to visit me. Unfortunately, I have some other matters to attend to and I must leave you to your life as Tsukino Usagi. Such a shame, ne?   
"Don't worry though, you won't have to endure that boring existence for very long. You see, the wheel of fate is turning once more, and events are about to happen that will change the course of destiny. Things are going to be different soon, and then you will be forced to accept your existence as Serenity once more.  
"Oh! I almost forgot. A friend of yours wanted to give you a little present. Enjoy." Usagi's eyes opened wide at those words. She did not have time to react. All her eyes perceived was a brilliant flash of light. Followed by that was a distinct sense of nausea. Her insides seemed to twist and contort in ways they were never meant to. She gasped and clutched at her stomach. A shriek escaped her lips and the world of blinding light faded along with Opal's smirk.  
* * * * *  
Usagi sat up in bed instantly. Her muscles were rigid, almost paralyzed from the tension in them. She lifted a hand and stared at it. Her fingers quivered despite all of her efforts to still them. She lifted her index finger to her face and ran it over her forehead. She was drenched with sweat.  
She remained like this for several minutes, her whole body shivering in the summer heat. It seemed like a very long time before she was finally able to move and even then it was in a jerky, puppet-like fashion. Like wise, it took time before her throat and facial muscles relaxed enough for her to at least appear somewhat calm.  
Once this had passed, she stood up and shuffled to the bathroom. Her body did not want to cooperate with her. She reached the toilet and bent over it, emptying her stomach of its vile contents. She stood poised there for a while, her body trembling even more from the exertion. She then proceeded to stumble back to her room and into her bed.   
She kept looking around her room to make sure that every detail was intact. In the dim light, she absorbed every detail on her curtains, every stuffed animal, every piece of undone homework. All was as it should have been. Slowly but surely, she began to calm down. The nausea was gone along with everything else she had been feeling.  
Now in a much more rational state of mind, Usagi wondered what exactly she had been so worked up about. A dream? That had to be it. Yet, she could barely remember her dream. As logic reinserted itself, the few moments that she still could vaguely recall made no sense. The unquestioning attitude she had assumed for the dream was gone and with it was the ability to accept it.   
The dream made no sense to her conscious mind, so she tried to adapt what she remembered to logic. Naturally, the beauty of dreams is that they defy logic and often explanation. When attempting to make sense of them in a world where they cannot make sense, they lose their essence. Before long, Tsukino Usagi remembered nothing of her disturbing nightmare. She only felt a distant uneasiness which too passed.  
The incident was almost completely forgotten soon and would have stayed that way had it not been for one thing. Just before she was about to go to sleep, she opened the locket lying on her dresser. It was a habit developed in the days when she often worried about losing that very item. Now, it had been two years since she had last used it. It was only a relic which served as an unpleasant reminder of her past.  
It made her feel better to know that it was safe. So she opened it and peered inside expecting to see the familiar sight of her crystal. What met her eyes was a somewhat different scene. The crystal appeared to be in perfect condition, at least externally. It was dull though, no longer shimmering even in the darkness. Its color had darkened from white to grey. What rested in the palm of her hand was an beautiful jewel, but an empty one. It was merely a lifeless rock. 


End file.
